Judgement, we all do it and we all receive it. It comes in many forms and from many people. The comments can be sharp, brutal and extremely hurtful.

Can you remember a time when you felt judged?

In todays blog I will share with you 3 questions to ask yourself that will have you wearing your oil and embracing reject or accept.

We as human beings are tribal, we have a profound want and need to belong. In actual fact this is one of our greatest fears - A sense of not belonging.

We are taught how to belong and follow the pack from an early age and this has been passed down for multiple centuries.

I’m here to disrupt the market place and share with you that it is okay to be different, to disrupt and to be a tall poppy in the field. This too comes with its challenges and this is when wearing your oil comes in handy.

I distinctly remember this one time when a young mum walks towards me in a shopping centre. Her toddler is trying her hardest to climb out of the shopping trolley, whilst Mum is trying hard to keep her in it. The tussle continues until such time that Mum looses her cool and places the toddler in the trolley firmly and with a look of “enough is enough”.

The toddler continues to scream however she does not move. I hear an older couple passing judgement as they walk past. Their comment goes like - “Our children would never have dared behave like that. When a mother doesn’t know how to control her children they should stay home.”

I looked up and noticed that the young mum had heard the comment. Her face said it all. Her look of despair, anger, shock and disappointment was heart breaking.

I walked towards her and offered these kind words. They do not know you or your circumstances, you are doing an amazing job as a Mum, keep it up. You can choose to accept or reject their comments. I am confident that you will make the right choice for you.

Often judgement is delivered quickly and with out any consideration of circumstances.

When we adopt to make change there is often judgement from loved ones, colleagues and those who think they know better. I share these three questions regularly with my clients and I encourage them to keep them nearby until such time that they remember them.

  • How well does this person know me?
  • Has this person ever experienced me as a person or a professional?
  • Why does their opinion matter to me?

Change what you have the power to change, if you need too. Actions speak louder than words.

When you answer these three questions you quickly choose to reject or accept. When I hear a judgement I am the only person who rejects or accepts it as being true or false. This choice is also yours when you embrace these questions.

People that have a high level of confidence are more flexible in there behaviour and are ready to be considerate of others. They will often be the person that is celebrating what you are doing and achieving.

Comments of judgement can send you plunging into self doubt, anxiety and worse depression.

Wear you oil and reject what you know is untrue, you are worth it.

For this and many more tips that will assist you in maintaining your "Cool Confidence" please head over to the contact page and secure your free coffee chat.